Friday, 4 December 2009

NETWORK FAIL


My novelist’s group were discussing getting agents (as you do) recently. The prevalent feeling was that most published writers were lucky enough to have got an ‘in’ - a chance meeting, a recommendation, someone who knew someone else who knew… I’ve heard of a few writers who’ve been picked up off the slush pile, but they do seem to be in the minority. Of course, your book has to be sh** hot as well. But I couldn’t help but wonder (a la Carrie Bradshaw):

Do we have to learn how to network as well as how to write?

When I worked at the BBC, I remember being told that my ‘profile’ wasn’t high enough in my department and that I needed to raise it. I was up in arms. I thought I was there to make programmes. And truth be known, I’m a lousy networker. The thought of arriving at some huge writerly event and infiltrating groups of people I don’t know fills me with abject terror. Strangely, I’d have no problem standing up in front of people and talking. It’s the informal, one-to-one stuff that’s so scary.

With the popularity and proliferation of literary events these days – The York Literature Festival being the latest – there are more and more opportunities for aspiring writers to rub shoulders with agents, publishers and authors. Indeed, many festivals now include bookable one-to-ones with agents, each lasting about ten minutes, during which said aspirants can pitch their novel. There are also those terrifying ‘Pitch Idol’ type evenings where you can compete with about fifteen other writers in front of a panel to convince an agent to take you on. I went to one in Cornwall (as a member of the audience, I should quickly add) where the panel included Simon Cowell’s half-brother (who happens to be a literary agent). It was all very entertaining. But is this something I want to do?

The online equivalent, I suppose, are sites like Authonomy and You Write On, where hours are spent ‘networking’ to gain the attention of a) fellow writers and, through them b) publishers or agents. Sadly it seems that the majority of these hours are wasted, since only one writer has been ‘plucked off the slush pile’ at Authonomy and both sites now seem to have segued seamlessly into offering self-publishing services.

The irony is that if I were confident at speaking and meeting n’greeting and networking, I’d not be a writer. I’d probably be an agent. Writing is the way I communicate best. Yet I suspect that part of the writerly ‘package’ these days includes an ability to be confident socially and adept at persuading, arguing, and otherwise influencing people verbally. Preferably with a Unique Selling Point which will go down well on the telly, the patience of Job and the tenacity of, er, someone tenacious. All this on top of having the talent to write an amazing, marketable book.

Tell you what, by the time I’ve developed all these assets, I’m not only going to be a bankable writer. I’ll also be an incredible – and probably insufferable - human being.

Thoughts?

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Guest Blog by Derek Thompson - The Fear Of All Sums




Is anyone out there old enough to remember the beloved (by me, anyway) children’s television programme How? Even if you’re not, here’s a riddle for you.
Question: When is a 109,000 word novel not a 109,000 word novel?
Answer: When it’s a 130,000 word novel pretending to be a 109,000 word novel.

Confused? Read on my friends…

Earlier this year a publisher invited me to submit a full ms for my thriller Standpoint. I went through my synopsis with a microscope, printed off another pristine copy of the manuscript (curse you, ink and toner manufacturers) and rechecked the word count – 109,000 so under the maximum limit. Then I dashed to the post office, paid my £20 for outward / return postage and returned to my prayer candle.

Three days later, my manuscript was returned to me, unread. The reply letter informed me that the word count was far beyond their stated limit, totalling over 130,000. Cue Twilight Zone music, as I checked Word again and found my original 109,000 word count to be correct. So what gives? Well, here comes the science bit.

The publisher also enclosed their method of ‘wordage calculation’, which is as follows:

1. Count through 50 full-length lines to determine the average number of words per line.
In my case: (735 words divided by 50 lines) an average of 14.7 words per line.

2. Determine the average number of lines over 10 pages.
In my case: an average of 24.5 lines per page.

3. Multiply the two averages above, to get an average number of words per page.
In my case: 14.7 multiplied by 24.5 = an average of 360.15 words per page.

4. Finally, multiply this figure by the total number of pages in the manuscript (a part page is still counted as a page in its own right).
In my case: 360.15 words per page x 361 pages = a wordage total of 130,014.15.

And that, my friends, is how a 109,000 thousand word novel can become a 130,000 word novel without the aid of mirrors, CGI or a safety net.

The publisher informed me this was standard industry practice, although I’ve never encountered it before. And, when I rebuked them for not telling me their calculation method before my submission (or even referring to it on their website), they conceded that my experience hadn’t been ideal. They’ve also invited me to resubmit – without having to supply return postage – if I can reduce the manuscript by 20%.

I’d rather not name names on a posting, in case I do manage make the 20% cut and resubmit to them. However, if anyone wants to contact me via my blog with their contact details, I will identify the publisher for information.



Derek Thompson is a freelance writer of articles, comedy and fiction. He can be found at www.alongthewritelines.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

When the chips are down


Last night I won a $600 prize in a competition. Yay?
No. It wasn’t a short story competition. If my Ace-King hadn’t run into an extremely lucky (whole stream of expletives deleted) Ace-Seven on the other side of the table, it could easily have been $10,000. The week before I won $2,678 one evening and about $700 another. This is all bad news. Poker is one of the things I do when I’m not writing.

An online poker tournament requires hours of application and concentration in front of a computer screen – sounds familiar? It demands an overall plan implemented through a serious of micro-decisions. It demands insight into a variety of characters, predicting their reactions in challenging circumstances, without actually meeting them. It rewards a certain amount of creativity and preparedness to put yourself on the line, to click caution to the wind, throw all your chips on the table, take a big risk and do what you know is right in the situation. But stop! Let’s not admit this analogy. They have nothing in common. Poker is simply a way to avoid writing when I’ve got the hideous block parked on my chest.

The others are: going to the gym, booking tickets to the World Cup, spending time with my son, spending time with my girlfriend, cooking great meals, reading South African guidebooks in preparation for said World Cup. I’ve even tried to con myself into thinking I might set a story in South Africa one day based on this research. Nonsense and delusion.

In other words, I have a wonderful life (if you don't want to be a writer). But for me, all these activities must be stamped out. All non-writing time is a waste of life and at the moment I’m wasting nearly all of it. Work has spread through my world like the flu.

This doesn’t Strictly count. It’s not real writing; it’s not fiction. Poetry counts, but I’m not writing any poems at the moment.

Aaarrghhh!

I know you think all life experience is valuable as the raw material for fiction, but I'm afraid you are wrong. I've done my living. Now I want to do my writing.


This is my last slot before Christmas so I also want to take the chance to say HAPPY CHRISTMAS! to everyone who visits these pages. In the New Year I resolve to publish posts bubbling with enthusiasm for writing.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Blogging - look before you leap


A couple of months ago, Colin Mulhern did a guest post for us on the advantages of blogging. So let's say you have decided to go ahead and are currently canvassing opinion about the merits of Wordpress, Blogger, Posterous and Tumblr. With free software so quick and easy to set up, it's tempting to dive right in and launch 'Fred's Self-absorbed Musings' with a post about how the publishing industry hates you and writing is soooo hard and only slebs get book deals because agents are too stupid to accept your stream-of-consciousness account of life as a depressed headlouse. Before starting a blog, however, there are a few things that might be worth considering:

What's it for?
There is no right answer – everyone has their own motivation, but it's helpful to know what that motivation is. A few examples:
To attract the attention of agents or publishers
To publicise an already-published book
To keep a personal journal
To regale the world with your superior knowledge about everything
To enjoy the achievement of completing short pieces while working on a novel.
To campaign on an issue that is important to you.

Identifying the purpose of your blog will help you start – and, more importantly, keep going - on the right track.

How are you going to sustain it?
You don't have to blog every day, but to build up a regular readership you do need to update often – preferably two or three times a week. Is this possible? Have a think about what subjects you want to write on – will you really be able to keep generating regular posts for years, or will it soon become a chore?

Who will read it, and will they all be people you know anyway?
Consider whether your blog will appeal only to the 20 people you already talk to every day online. If that's exactly who you want to reach, that's fine, but if you're looking for a wider audience, think about what will attract and retain them – the blog needs to give them something (e.g. entertainment, knowledge, useful advice), not just beg for their attention.

Does it really have to be about writing?
Just because you're a writer, that doesn't mean you have to blog about writing. Of course, there might be tons you want to say on that subject – if so, great! There are other topics in the world, however. I made the mistake of setting up a writing blog and then realising I don't know a whole lot about it. My history blog, however, has a bottomless supply of material that appeals to people who like history – many of whom also like to read historical fiction.

What's it going to be called?
It's possible to set up a blog very quickly in a fit of enthusiasm. But it's worth spending some time thinking about a name. 'My Ponderings' might be ideal for a personal diary that you don't expect others to read, but it won't necessarily stand out from everyone else's musings, jottings, random thoughts etc. A name can also end up limiting what you write about – be too specific and it will be difficult to shift the direction of the blog once you've got into the swing of it.

These are just a few points I wish I'd put more thought into before I started my first blog. Of course, one of the wonderful things about blogging is that you can write what the heck you like without me or anyone else telling you how – but I reckon it's worth doing a bit of planning before you jump into the blogosphere head first.

Monday, 30 November 2009

Brought to book with an 'e'


The e-book remained something of an enigma to me, until recently. I decided it was time to ask Santa for one. So I wrote my note and posted it to the North Pole, and made a mental note to leave a glass of milk for the thirsty reindeers for their festive visit to number fifteen. I knew Santa's elves would have to build the blasted contraption, and I could visualise the frustration on their faces as they grappled with this new technology. After all, it's a far cry from the wooden toys that the elves work on over the year.


For the lay person, the e-reader is a digital media equivalent of a conventional printed book. There are a range of models from the Sony reader to the Amazon Kindle...in fact the list is endless. But is the battery-powered device better than the printed word? I say no, some say yes.


My recent purchase of the new Iphone 3GS (note - takes up vital writing time!) revealed there are ample e-book applications which can be downloaded. I went forth into 'cyberphonespace' and obtained 'The Last of the Mohicans' which was free via an application. Most books are available at a cost and the e-book application works through the itunes facility. But while reading, I struggled with eye strain, and I kept having flashbacks involving sitting at my office desk. I felt I was working, rather than relaxing and enjoying reading as a past-time.


My main gripe with the e-reader is the loss of the feel of the actual book. It now becomes a mere image on the screen, and if you are an author, you will undoubtedly feel that you can't hold the 'baby' as such, in the way you would with a book proper. But one positive fact is that voracious readers can bring hundreds of books on holiday with them - just think how much space that would take up in luggage terms if you had the printed versions (100 cases maybe?) Reading in the sun though may be a problem given the glare that will affect the screen.


And what will a future libray look like? A mass of small portals attached to walls where you select what book you want to read (year 2030 perhaps?) and you sit there for hours. Or will a library simply be an online facility?


I've read a lot of reviews of e-readers and one point which seems to get the critics going is that the e-book is 'sexier' than a traditional book. Yes, this is the word they use. Not sure how they reach this conclusion, apart from the fact the electronic device is probably more slimline than the size 18 War and Peace.


Consumers seem to be embracing them and publishers are churning out the content, but I want to see my book printed on paper and I want to be able to hold it. A surprising fact I found out while researching this is that the Gutenberg Project (a mammoth effort to digitalise works, all of which are in the public domain) was formed in 1971! Before I was born. Wow. And I thought the e-book was a ground-breaking 2009 thing!

Saturday, 28 November 2009

And the winner is...


Thank you everyone who entered the prize draw to win a copy of Dazed & Aroused by Gavin James Bower. The lucky winner is...

JENZARINA


Well done - please email caro_rance (at) hotmail (dot) com with your address, and I'll send the book off to you.

Thank you to Quartet Books for providing the prize. For those who didn't win, don't forget to BUY THE BOOK! You can get it direct from Quartet by clicking here.

You can also visit Gavin's blog at http://dexterity97.blogspot.com/ and follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/dexterity97



Friday, 27 November 2009

The Mullage Machine





You know when you have a formless blob of an idea floating around in your head? It could end up nowhere, but equally, it could end up being a half decent story. It’s a bit like having a lump of dough that needs to prove and bake into something with a purpose. And I don’t compare food and stories lightly, but I still compare them.

Sometimes you need to allow an idea, or a scene, to lurk inside your brain for a while until it takes shape. My friend Alexandra talks about putting it in The Mullage Machine.

I have a very half-baked idea for a new children’s book right now and as always with me at this stage, it’s more about feeling a certain atmosphere than a tangible idea in which A, B and C happen. It’s so half-baked in fact, that I’m worried I have incurred the wrath of the Muse’s bouncers by even mentioning it. [If you’ve never come across the Muse’s bouncers before, believe me, they’re not to be messed with. The Muse wafts about in a diaphanous dress with flowers in her hair but her bouncers have tattoos on their knuckles and steel toecaps in their boots. They’ll escort you off the premises with a few broken limbs and a black eye as soon as look at you. I’ve posted before about how I managed to kill a book by blabbing all over the place about it instead of writing it. I won’t make that mistake again, beyond asking my nearest and dearest questions like, ‘So what would happen if…?’ and ‘Have you ever heard of this…?’

But as long as you keep schtum and don’t leave the idea in the mullage machine for too long, this can be one of the most delicious stages of writing something new. At this point, the book is perfect. Anything could happen and the story could go anywhere. The prose is brilliantly polished and yet natural, the plot will do all the things a plot should do. [Note that I haven’t listed them. That’s because I don’t really know. Answers on a postcard please to the usual address]. The characters will make sparkling dialogue and behave just like living breathing people. Except they’ll be much more interesting than real people.

So if you haven’t touched a keyboard or pen in relation to your current story but have been cranking up the mullage machine instead, don’t worry.
Thinking can sometimes be writing too.